It all started when I got tired of looking for friends on Facebook and had a flashbulb of inspiration “I’ll friend Facebook!” that way I’ll be friends with the entire world!

So off I went and logged into my Facebook account, my pulse racing, with the realization that all my dreams were about to come true! I would finally be the “Master” of Facebook.

Having forgotten my previous experience with “Googling Google” I pressed on and searched for “Facebook” in the query window.

Microseconds later the iconic “F” in blue and white appeared. I hesitated for a moment thinking “Is this it? Will it work?” I slowly rolled the track ball of my mouse toward the add as friend button, the tip of my sweaty finger slightly slipping off the ball as it reached its destination.

Hesitantly I left clicked the button with my thumb… That’s when it all went wrong. My monitor started to flicker and a deep droning voice started to wail “Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo” as it spiraled into static my monitor graying out then returning to a white screen with a simple message. DNS Not Found…

I tried to refresh but got the same result… I had killed facebook.

I am truly and deeply sorry for what I’ve done… So sorry infact that I think I will go and Twitter Twitter about it.

I was recently introduced to Google’s new “Instant Search” at 1:00 am MTN time on Wednesday while typing a query into Google’s search box. All of a sudden the screen started to flicker as I typed CompTIA. “C” the screen showed craigslist, “o” flicker again and it changed to Costco, “m” Comcast, “p” Compaq, and on as the browser tried to show me all the possible choices at once. “What in the name of Sergey Brin is going on!?”

The first thing that crossed my mind was “Great! Another crazy browser hijack attempt!” and immediately initiated a registry and file scan. A few minor things came up but nothing that would warrant the possessed behavior of my normally docile machine.

I went back to my research thinking that whatever problem had caused this schizophrenic behavior had been corrected.

It was then that I noticed grey letters ahead of my search in the box.??? Knowing that it was getting late I rubbed my eyes, blinked a few times, yep the grey letters were still there. At this point I went to Google.com avoiding the search box like the plague afraid that I would end up with a migraine or seizure for my efforts.

After reading up on Google Instant Search I have come to the following conclusions about Google.

1. They think the average user suffers from ADHD
2. Google must have switched out their florescent office lights with LED strobes.

It frightens me to think what would happen to someone with a tendency toward seizures if they typed “Supercalafragilisticexpialadocious” in the hopes of finding song lyrics. I can only imagine the 9-1-1 call from a concerned loved one:

Dispatch: 9-1-1 please state your emergency
Caller:  Oh my gosh my (insert relation) is having a seizure in front of his computer.
Dispatch: Was he using Google?
Caller: -hesitation- Yes… How did you know?
Dispatch: This is the 5th call in the last hour mam.
Caller: What should I do? He was just trying to sing along with our daughter -sob-.
Dispatch: Make sure his air passage ways are clear and switch off “Instant Search”.

In all fairness it is probably just a case of getting used to this type of search, which I have to admit after using it a bit is not so bad.

The long term ramifications to website owners hoping to obtain and maintain rank in Google are, in my opinion, about to get a rude awakening.

Google’s philosophy is to give the user the best experience possible. With this goal in mind any search suggestions put before the user, even during instant search will be monitored for performance.

What does it mean?

Any site that may initially find themselves ranked #1 – 3 may find themselves dropped out of favor if they are not able to capture the users attention and click through in that flicker of a second it takes the user to refine their search and hit the next screen. Never has latent semantic content theming been more important than now.

In order to gain and maintain top search rank in Google a site will need to have well researched tightly themed pages with extremely attractive eye grabbing titles and descriptions in order to gain a users click.

It will only take a short amount of time for Google to determine if a site that is ranked is being clicked on for a general search phrase and decide to retain it or drop it. Understanding the primary search phrase tree for your users and their primary socioeconomic demographic profile will be crucial in order to retain your current user base if your site relies in new visitors. If you have great content that follows the your user’s preferred search path your chances of coming up under multiple page flickers while the search is further defined increases.

I may be wrong about this but improving site content and content theme streams will never hurt your site’s performance, so I consider it at the very least a win/potential win scenario.

Keep Solving for X

Mike Rough

Top flap of Sexy Thang Body Spray Product Display Box

Snickering it out Jenn whispered “If you like Baby Phat Goddess” You’ll love our SEXY THANGGGGGGGGGGGG” followed by more giggling. Turning the box toward me I got the full effect of the display. Let me tell you… Nothing screams my house is on wheels like this color combination.

Front Panel of Sexy Thang Body Spray Product Display Box

Thinking it couldn’t get any worse I turned to the back of the box…

Back Panel of Sexy Thang Body Spray Product Display Box

I don’t know about most people but the words “linger”, “musks”, and “exotic woods”, combined with “floral scents” sounds like what you get when a hound dog has been eating his fiber enriched food after running through the flower beds, then decides to pass gas. A definite lingering scent occurs.

Turning the box around to the front I noticed the original corner pricing was ripped off, with the subsequent $5 sticker pasted on it, with the additional reduced price of $3. To give the scent its due, I did not try it out. Call me chicken but anything packaged like this with nebulous claims to linger scares me. Especially one that is emulating a “Baby Phat Goddess”. All kinds of images are espoused with that name alone. A tiny cherubic, fat rolled, demigod heir to a famous plumbing brand mogul comes to mind. Ok, so Pfister isn’t a Ph, but you get the idea.

Here’s the deal!

Create a better marketing plan for this product, or just make fun of it. The best marketing package submitter will get this awesomely awful example of marketing for their very own. Feel free to include video, jingles, ads, whatever strikes your fancy. Anything at this point would be better than what it has going on with it currently.

Just to additionally clarify. This rant is not about the scent, but the marketing.

Keep Solving for X

Mike

I have noticed a few important traits that great problem solvers possess, that we could all adopt or improve on to become greater problem solvers in everyday, and critical life and death situations.

1. Prepared

2. Confident

3. Decisive

4. Adaptable

Prepared. As simple as this word is, actually being prepared for within our ever changing environment can be quite challenging. While most of us may never be in a life and death situation there are a few things to consider wherever you are.

Assess your surroundings:
Do you know where the exits are?
Are there areas that have the potential to become unstable?
What kind of people are around you? Do you know any with specialized knowledge about where you are? Are you that person?
Do you have on your person or nearby or know where to find a pocket knife, stubby screwdrivers (cross and straight blade), coffee cup, elastic bands,  tape, cell phone, or smr radio?

Confident. Having confidence creates an emotionally stable problem solving environment. Lack of confidence breeds fear, leading  to desperation and rash and dangerous actions, and in some cases paralysis which in many situations compounds the problem.

Gaining confidence in your problem solving ability lies heavily on preparedness. Are you prepared? Have you assessed the situation, do you know what you need to solve the problem? Are you confident enough to ask for assistance in planning and executing your solution? Are you willing and able to modify your plan based on how it is unfolding?

Decisive. No matter how prepared or confident you are, if you do not take action you will not solve your problem. Taking action can either be your individual direction of a plan, or coordinating with others to resolve the problem. In some cases taking the action to do nothing is the correct call, this determination can only be made confidently if you have assessed the situation by being aware of the variables involved.

Adaptable. Most tactical planners will admit that there is no “Perfect Plan” or solution to every problem. As soon as you implement your solution, variables will emerge that force you to adapt to the situation, changing your plan on a small or large basis. The amount of knowledge you know about the environment you are engaged with will usually determine how much adaptation will be needed.

The great military strategist John Boyd coined the phrase “OODA loop”.

Orient – Where do you fit within the framework of the situation

Observe – What is happening

Decide – What can you do to improve or resolve the situation

Act – Implement your solution

His proven methods are used today by the military, and large corporations within their decision making cycles. Boyd posits that the individual, or group that cycles through the OODA loop cycle fastest will be the dominant entity within their respective environment.

There may be one or hundred of OODA loop cycles required to resolve a situation depending on the complexity and amount of people and resources required. The key is to always be aware of the progress and success of the solution as it is being applied and willing to adapt as needed.

Entire volumes and lives have been devoted to problem solving, actively applying these basic principles in your everyday interactions will enable you to solve or participate in the resolutions of problems at a higher level than those around you.

Keep Solving for X!

Mike